Burn, baby, burn!

From an eBay auction currently in progress:

COMPLETE POETICAL WORKS OF ROBERT W SERVICE (SINGED)

[. . .]

HELLO THIS BOOK IS IN VERY GOOD CONDITION FOR ITS AGE I FOUND IT AT A ESTATE SALE ITS DATED 1921 AND ITS SINGED AND HAS THE ORIGANOIL BOOK COVER ON IT THANKS FOR LOOKING SHIPPING IN THE US IS 10.00 DOLLARS OUT OF THE US IS 14.00 DOLLARS AND UP DEPENDS WERE YOUR AT THANKS

Mmm, nicely basted with oregano oil, then singed :)

P.S. How on earth did a person as illiterate as this get into the business of selling books on eBay?

OMG Latest Theory Fashions

I was browsing around eBay, searching for secondhand books as usually, when I noticed an ad for ‘Latest Theory Fashions’. Naturally my first thought was that somebody is poking some well-deserved fun at fashionable postmodernist nonsense or something of that sort.

However, I was a bit disappointed. It turns out that Theory really is a fashion brand name. And this stuff ain't cheap — they want $200 or more for a pair of pants! :)))

Well, I guess that's the sort of thing that upper-middle class hipsters and latte liberals like to wear while arguing about the latest postmodernist theories :)

Shake that ass!

Here's an auction bound for the anals annals of eBay hilarity:

Shakespeare Ass Facsimiles 11
'Work for Chimny-sweepers

Imagining an ass so filthy that it requires the attention of a chimney-sweeper is left as an exercise for the reader :)

Guilty pleasures

From the description of a secondhand book recently offered on sale through abebooks.com:

The Poetical Works of Sir Walter Scott,
Scott, Sir Walter
Oxford University Press, 1890, Hard Cover, , 758 pages. Book has a golden guilt trim around the edges with "Scott" guilt on front and "Scott's Poetical Works" on the spine. There is wear to top and bottom of the spine and around the edges typical of a book this old.

For more entertaining oddities from eBay auction descriptions and the like, I recommend the late, lamented Anti-FAQ.