This is just sad

Britney Spears says chocolate is as good as sex.
She says "chocolate for me is just like an orgasm."

(Reported on ananova.com, Jan. 2002)

Well, either she enjoys chocolate way more than I ever thought possible, or she has a really, really lousy sex life. Don't get me wrong, I like chocolate very much, but to claim that it is as good as an orgasm is surely just plain silly. (I guess it's silly to even comment on a silly quote like this, but never mind.) I mean if this was the case, there'd be gigantic plantations of cocoa trees in every country whose climate could support them, and gigantic hothouses of cocoa trees everywhere else. So, alas, one has to believe the other explanation: even while millions of drooling, horny teenagers wank to a mental image of Britney, her sex life is so miserable that even chocolate can vie with it. This is truly sad.

(Yes, yes, I know. There is another explanation, namely the correct one: i.e. that she didn't really mean what she said in the above statement. But don't be such a spoilsport.)

Another bizarre contribution to the chocolate-and-orgasm connection: "Scientists have now developed chocolates that will not only satisfy the taste buds, but will help men and women experience orgasm without having sex!" (Hindustani Times, Dec 21, 2004.) The same story is also reported here. Given that both of them reference that venerable paragon of journalistic reliability, The Sun, I won't be exactly holding my breath waiting for the magic formula to hit the shelves.