Kinky spam

This is simply priceless. The best piece of spam I've received in weeks. [As measured here at the ill-advised Spam Research Institute using highly scientific and objective measures such as the number of double entendres per paragraph :-)]

KINKI COMPANY LIMITED.
Japanese Used Motor
Vehicle Importer & Exporters Association
3F Takagi Bld. 1-15-6 Nishi-Shinbashi Minato-ku,
Tokyo 105-0003
JAPAN

ATTENTION:TENDER OFFER TO PROVIDE SERVICES FOR KINKI COMPANY LIMITED.

OMG!! A tender offer to provide services for a kinky company? I had no idea that the sex industry could be so classy. Love me tender, love me sweet...

I am Mr. Eiichi Goto of JUMVEA / Japanese Used Motor Vehicle Exporters Association, we are a group of business men who deal on Cars and import/export into any part of the World.

Eiichi Goto? What a small world this is! So he wasn't eliminated after all! But it's sad to see that he left research and works for the sex automobile industry now. (Note for the uninitiated: “At the IFIP Congress in 1971 I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Eiichi Goto of Japan, who cheerfully complained that he was always being eliminated.”—Donald E. Knuth, Structured programming with go to statements, ACM Computing Surveys, 6(4):264, December 1974.)

We are searching for a Trusted and Truthful Representatives who can help us establish a medium of getting to our costumers in America, Canada, Europe and some part of Asia, as well as making payments through you to us. If you are interested in transacting business with us we will be very glad.

You would be paid 5% of every payment made through you us. Subject to your satisfactory we shall be introducing you to our costumers in America,Canada, Europe and some part of Asia.

If it's costumers you want, this e-mail could not have arrived at a more auspicious moment! The carnival season is over, the demand for costumes of all sorts has gone down, and the costumers will be delighted to hear of your interest in their work!

Please if you are interested kindly contact: —

Mr. Xioa Cheng
KINKI COMPANY LTD (JUMVEA)
(Personel Manager)
Email: xi_kinki_office@yahoo.com.hk

Oooooh, my. Kindly contact their person[n]el manager in his kinky office. Nope, no double entendres there at all. This has got to be one of those secretary-fetish pr0n web sites.

You are advice to provide him with the following information:
Names:
Telephone/Fax number:
Nationality:
Age:
occupation:

He will furnish you with further fruitful information.

Fruitful? Haven't you people heard of contraceptive pills yet? Or does this have something to do with the recent Japanese concerns about the extremely low birth rate?

Best Regard,

Mr. Eiichi Goto
President JUMVEA

Sad to see that you sold out to the spam industry, Dr Goto. But still, for old times' sake (no, not that kind of sake :)), best regards to you too, and long may you remain uneliminated!