And the customer service award goes to...

This eBay auction.

It's an auction for a book, but so hopelessly overloaded with mind-bogglingly exaggerated marketing tripe that one can really be forgiven for not noticing the author's name and the title of the book amidst all the verbiage. So some bold would-be buyer sent out a question, and received the following answer:

Q: Title, author/editor, publisher, condition?

A: You are banned from bidding on a work of genius like this

This is simply priceless. In these days when so many people imagine that the customer is king, it's always a relief to see that some merchants still do the reasonable thing and treat their customers as the nasty annoying nagging little pieces of shit they really are. The answer above brings to mind the image of a bastard eBay seller from hell, grumbling away in his den, automatically banning everyone who has the impertinence to ask questions, etc. I wish him all the best, bless his dirty rotten old heart!